esl ::: emily's so luscious

Self-Observation

First of all, here is a list of a few things the video showed for fact, that I was guessing about before:

• I'm very casual - I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.


• I need to stay more focused in class.


• My explanations are confusing.


• I need to be aware of the actual words coming out of my mouth.


• I say too many words. Too much filler - content words get buried and students can't tell what's important and what's not.


• I need to make sure I pronounce words as they are said in conversation - always.

When watching the video, the first thing I noticed is how very laid-back I am. There's an open, friendly atmosphere to the class. However, sometimes my casual demeanor detracts from my teaching. This shows up during moments of transition, anytime when I need the full attention of the class and am unable to command it, and during explanations, when I am so conversational as to use too many filler words. I believe if I can stay aware of these, I'll find better techniques and use them consistently instead. Most of it is coming from lack of experience, lack of confidence, and self-consciousness (instead of healthy self-awareness). I don't know if that is evident to people who don't know me well - I happen to know those are the qualities about myself I particularly do not want my students to pick up on, so I'm compensating with casualness and charm. Hopefully that charisma will get me through until I actually do know what I'm doing. Until then, these are the things I do in class that could be better.
Pronunciation practice is not focused enough. It has a tendency to get boring, especially when there are too many words on the list, like this lesson. I could stop doing this part, but I’m not sure what an effective substitute would be. Sometimes it's fun - this happens when something from outside is brought in (like asking them if they know what tortillas are) - the key is to bring up something that will get them talking about the words.
My explanations are very bad. I think out loud, and this confuses the students, as I circumlocute to find the right words to explain something. The explanation of wine led to an interesting moment, but this was a confusing sidetrack.
When I transitioned from the first activity to the second, it should have been seamless because they were already focused on me, and already sitting in a large group. However, my explanation was confusing (again). Students either tune me out because they're only getting a key word here and there in the sea of words I’m throwing at them, or they seem to tune out because they're talking to each other to clarify what I’ve said. The problem with that is when they clarify for each other, they're not always correct, because they haven't heard all the instructions yet. This is a continuous problem, so during the lesson I give them time to confer for each item. During the instructions and some explanations, they don't know that they are supposed to be listening to me right then.
There were so many problems with this lesson in particular even before I saw the tape, so I don't know how much of that I need to discuss here. A list of particularly bad explanations, so when I bring those vocabulary words in next time, I need to work on them extra hard:

• Cantaloupe


• Several / a few


• One-at-a-time / individual


• Each / for one (students discussed this among themselves during a break, while I was working with an individual student - I already knew I needed to cover this again, and seeing this on the tape reinforced that)

The second activity should not have been so exclusive of the content meant for the third activity. I should have combined them, and shortened them. What I did was logical, but counter-intuitive, and I should have gone with my first instinct, which was to divide the list in half, and do both actions on each word together as a class, and then they could finish the second half in their groups. That might have been more successful. Again, this is something I’d already reflected on, but the tape confirmed my pre-tape self-analysis.
Some students compel more attention than others, but I must make sure to pay equal attention to all my students. Blanca and Ruth are both very motivated to learn, so I tend to focus on their needs, but sometimes other students have questions that go unheard because they lack confidence to speak up. This is something I suspected might be happening, but seeing it on the video confirmed it. I'm using the video as a classroom monitor, in a way. Since I can't see and hear everything while I’m teaching, this tells me what else is happening that I can't be aware of when it happens.
When I get annoyed with myself for giving a bad example or a confusing explanation, sometimes that comes across as frustration or impatience with the students. I must stay aware of that danger.
The transition into their small groups didn't go as smoothly as it could have. In fact, it was pretty bad. All I said was "okay" and as I mentioned earlier, I say so many words that the students are not likely to hone in on one particular word just when I need them to. The more confusing my explanations get, the more they chatter among themselves. Instead of giving one set of instructions to the group, I had to sit with each group and go over the same instructions three times. If I had commanded their attention as a class, it would have been more efficient. I think it was a good idea going to each group and sitting down with them to discuss any problems they're having, and make clarifications or suggestions. That's something I’ll continue in future. The actual getting them into groups worked better, but that's because I had thought about how to group them during their break.
Reflection comes naturally to me, partly because of my personality, and partly because of my experience in theatre. Watching myself on the video helped because I was able to confirm that my self-analysis has been accurate, and because it showed a few things I'm not capable of knowing while I'm teaching, such as what the students are doing when I'm elsewhere. I think I'll be able to function just fine as a teacher without videoing myself often, because I am actually able to monitor myself so well. That's not to say that I am able to change things while I monitor - I can tell I'm doing something badly, but I can't alter my course. That will come with time, if those with more experience than I are to be believed. The value of the video is, to me, much like "exhibit B", when the lawyer brings out the enlarged and digitally remastered security tape to prove what really happened on the night of April 3, 2006.

posted by E.M @ 10:50 PM